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Direct negotiation may only continue the fight

It is natural to assume that the parties involved in a dispute should settle their own conflict - it is their business, their concern, their hassle. But they may be the least equipped to untangle the hostility, loss of trust, suspicion, secrecy, biased communications, and position taking involved. The repetition of patterns and explanations that have become habitual and twisted can render the disputants impotent.

The parties involved in the conflict are often bogged down into an argumentative mode of thinking. Even with the best will in the world, they simply cannot carry out certain thinking, because it would not be consistent with the positions they are taking in the conflict.

Direct negotiation between disputants without a third party allows the parties to retain their privacy and independence, but also has serious liabilities. It can heighten power differences and intensify the confrontation. Any compromise reached may merely become the basis of future conflicts. Direct negotiation can continue the fight, extend the coercion, support the manipulation, and merely make the conflict more covert.

When we are locked into either-or thinking, our logic (no matter how tight and tidy) has a fundamental limitation. The parties most directly involved in a dispute are in the worst position, and are the least equipped to settle the dispute constructively. More effective means of resolution inevitably come from a third party - an outside mediator who does not think in an either-or manner or apply conflict to resolve conflict.

Third party intervention offers alternatives and hope

A third party mediator can introduce an intervention to break the negative cycle, and help the parties improve the quality of their solution.

In traditional societies, mediation of conflicts by trusted persons is the most frequently-used process of resolving disputes. Rather than being a mark of social progress, the loss of avenues for dispute negotiation outside the court system has limited opportunities for maintaining relationships and achieving justice in modern societies.

A third party mediator can provide the disputants with alternative and additional information, experience and expertise. Mediation offers alternatives beyond those the parties can generate themselves. Mediation invites and often ensures full participation and communication between the parties.

The mediation process and its advantages