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My parents spent a lot of time and energy teaching me to talk.  In the years following they spent an equal amount of time and energy shutting me up.  This was closely followed by a stern instruction not to accept sweets from strangers, and in my teenage years Dad saw it fit to remind me accepting car rides from strangers is a total no-no as well.  Although this advice was very useful at the time it makes me wonder how wary of strangers those early years make us.  Yet communicating successfully with others is pretty important these days.

All good relationships start with a chat, it’s as simple as that.  Feeling shy about talking to strangers?  The truth is, your business depends on it.  When I first started out in business years ago I was petrified, almost stupefied at the thought of talking to someone I’d never met:  my hands used to shake and sweat rolled down my back.  I quickly learned: no relationship, no business.  No business, no money. The only way to overcome the flight response was to ignore the advice my parents gave me, to get out there and take sweets from strangers. 

Talk to anyone who shares your space:  on the train, in your favourite café, at the gym, at the coffee machine in the office.  As difficult as it is, make a point of destroying your stranger danger fear, and make a point of it today.  Some people will look at you as if you’re mad, but think about it, is that not really their problem?  You will find that most people actually like it when you talk to them.  People love talking about their work, their new car, the kids who do so well at school, after all it is the most important thing in their world right now. 

I agree, you get the odd grouch who gives you the evil look or heaven forbid, the dreaded snarl, I get them in my line of work all the time:  you are a what?  You gotta be kidding me. The way to deal with it?  Smile and wave boys, smile and wave, it is nothing personal, that person might just be having a really bad day today. 

You never know what is going on in someone else’s life right now so be patient.  You’ll probably see them again tomorrow.  When you do give it another try:  smile, make eye contact and just talk.  The magic does happen:  that person gets to know your face, you become familiar to them, and the average normal person cannot justify being rude to a familiar face time and again.  They’ll start talking, eventually smile, and hey presto, you just formed a relationship with that person.

Happy sweet hunting…

He that converses not, knows nothing.
English Proverb